OoooooooooooooohhhhhYeeeaaaahhhhh!!!!!!

First off, I wanna say this is NOT a wrestling blog or toy blog or really ANYTHING in particular blog. It's more of a "I live across the country from my friend and we want an excuse to make stupid jokes and share idiotic ideas that will make our wives divorce us so we can go marry each other when that kind of junk is legal" type blog.

So, first REAL post, let's set the mood with a little Macho Madness!
Maybe I should back it up a bit and clarify: I collect toys. Lots of them. I don't do it to sell them or for value, I do it because it's fun and my parents did something right. Lately I've been really into WWF's (now WWE which is stupid) Hasbro figures from the early 90's. These things were the BEST! They have recycled action features, cartoon-ish images and, best of all, are generally cheap as hell, though there are a few "grail" figures that cost a stupid amount.

Anyway, while getting my late 80's/early 90's wretling kick with these toys, I started watching old WWF footage. I hate watching wrestling now, I've learned. Especially back then, it sucked! BUT the promos SOLD that crap! 5 minutes of some roided out monster screaming and huffing about the craziest of crap. 2 men exceeded at this more than any, The Ultimate Warrior (who I WILL get to later) and "Macho Man" Randy Savage.

It all got me thinking about the "Macho Man" and I gotta say: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT GUY THINKING?!?!?

"Hey Randy, what will your wrestling gimmick be?"
"Well I'm glad you asked, I was thinking 1 of the 3: A bearded-psycho version of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat", a "king" or David Lee Roth if he was an eccentric, gay cowboy."
"Why not all 3?"
"OOOHHHYYEEEAAHHH!!!!!"

Know what? Not even "gay cowboy!" Only a straight man would dress so ridiculously!

Some gimmicks I "get" but I don't think I'll ever get the cowboy version of Macho. When I was in 5th grade I actually wrote a research paper on Mr. Savage, I can't remember any of it, just that I was really into him at the time. I think what made him really cool, other than the neon tassles and white leather biker jacket, was he kind of played all sides at a time when most were always good guys or bad guys (faces and heels for lame-o wrestling nerds.)

Hogan, at the time, ALWAYS good. BORING! I guess a few others bounced around, but none as large as Savage. Also, he's half Italian half Jew, that doesn't mean anything but it's an interesting fact.

His promo speeches were the BEST too! I only think Ultimate Warriors were better, but not by a lot. He kind of mumbled and grumbled weird crap, and if he took off his shades it got even more frightening

ALSO, why the fuck did he come out to the ring to "Pomp & Circumstance?" Erm, not the song I think of when I think "MACHO MAN!"
Here's a taste of the tune in case you're a moron and don't know it:


OK, So onto the toys! I nabbed this guy, mainly, because "Cowboy-Macho" is awesome.

I know, it looks more like Billy Mays w/long hair and a cowboy hat, but still killer.
I also like the detail on the back of the jacket.
But the tassels are what MAKE it! He also has an action feature, you push down on the hump on his back and he's supposed to JUMP at you, it's called the "Savage Slam!" In all reality, it sucks. A lot of Hasbro's WWF figures did this same move, I think it might be the MOST recycled action feature, but I'll have to look into it. Pretty much, they just kind of hop 1/2" off your table/desk/concrete basement floor and land on their face. I'm gonna do a WHOLE post on the action features later featuring video, too. LOOK OUT FOR THAT WINNER!

So that's it! Macho Madness! Where is he now? Why I'm glad you asked: